


autumn leaves

by kateanderson



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 23:06:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2525066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kateanderson/pseuds/kateanderson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His hand brushed her back as they entered the crowded auditorium to a thunder of applause and she felt her heart beat settle</p>
            </blockquote>





	autumn leaves

She was still in her jammies when Scott arrived. She heard his truck pull into her driveway and watched from the window as he got out, knocking his head on the door frame and obviously spilling some of the contents of one of the coffee cups he held. She watched him as he walked to the front door and she froze, not even breathing as she waited for the doorbell to ring. It surprised her but then, not really, when she heard the lock turn instead.

A muffled thud of shoes landing on top of the pile of hers and then footsteps, making their way up the stairs. "Knock, knock!" His foot kicked open her bedroom door and he poked his head in. His ridiculous hair sticking up at all angles. She'd have to fix that.

"I could have been naked." Tessa said, trying to keep the tone light. She accepted the coffee he held out to her. It wasn't the one that he had spilled.

"I was willing to take my chances." He flopped down in the overstuffed chair by her bed and nodded at the small pile of paper next to her. "Is that it?"

It was. The reason why he was here at this ungodly hour of the morning. He reached over and grabbed the top sheet. She'd been up half the night worrying about it. Thought about calling him more than once. Even if just to hear him laugh at her and tell her not to stress over it.

For all her big talk and boasting about being business savvy, the idea of standing in front of a room of actual business types, even just students, terrified her. She was certain that they'd see right through her and recognize her for the fraud that she was. Scott sipped his coffee, eyes darting over the page. "This is great, Tess." he said finally. "You actually make me sound smart."

Tessa snorted softly and picked up another sheet of paper. "We need to practice actually reading it aloud."

In the silence before either one of them could start, his phone buzzed. He picked it up, frowned and put it back in his pocket. Tessa knew. She'd also gotten a text that made her frown. More than one, actually.

"So!" Scott said, a little too brightly. "Let's get started."

*

As with most things these days, it wasn't long before she found herself in tears. Scott looked at her over the top of his paper, his eyes troubled. There was a time when he'd freely join her on the bed and offer comfort and reassurance. Now, he tentatively nudged a box of tissues closer to her. "It wasn't that bad, was it, T?"

No, no, it hadn't been bad at all.

She dabbed at her eyes, blew her nose and threw the tissue into the trashcan. Scott's mouth was set in a line and his knuckles trembled as he gripped the paper harder. "It's just a lot of memories." she said. "Nothing bad."

He picked up his coffee again, fingers crushing into the sides of the cup. "I miss it too." he said softly. 

She offered him a watery grin and continued with the speech.

*

She derived a unique sort of comfort from Scott, something that she had desperately missed in the past several months. At TIFF she had clung to Ryan, nails digging into the palm of his hand. He offered her a drink but no words of encouragement or even a gentle pat on the back. The same held true for Let's Bond and when she was flying solo at Fashion Week, she threw up in the hotel bathroom before leaving her room.

Scott's hair was fixed, now laying neatly and she straightened the collar of his shirt. In return, he checked her teeth and brushed back a strand of hair that may or may not have existed. His hand brushed her back as they entered the crowded auditorium to a thunder of applause and she felt her heart beat settle.

She had missed this.

*

She'd been thinking a lot lately, about Scott and skating and everything in between. His words of reassurance, whispered into her ear before they took the stage brought her back to the boards of a cold arena, the glassy surface awaiting them. She didn't know yet whether she wanted to return to all of that but this, this she did want to return to.

The last student had slipped away, excitedly taking with them an autographed photo. The television crew had gone too. And then there were two. "So," he said. "lunch?"

She was outrageously overdressed but her stomach rumbled as if on cue and she grabbed her jacket. "Lead the way, Moir."

When he pulled up in front of his favourite diner, she burst out laughing. The place was rundown and the waitress called everyone sweetheart but he swore by their burgers and Tessa had to admit that they weren't terrible. The door jangled cheerfully as they entered, her heels clicking on the worn linoleum floor. They took a seat in a booth and Tessa noticed that his hair was sticking up again.

Their cups were filled with coffee before they could even say no and plastic menus with tatty edges were placed in front of them. "Take your time, sweetheart." the waitress said. "I got all day."

"Thanks, Darlene." Scott said. He didn't open his menu but Tessa did. She scanned the list of sandwiches and burgers and chicken fingers with barbeque dipping sauce. "Just get what you always do."

Tessa looked at him. He was smiling. The corners of his eyes seemed to bear more wrinkles now than they had just a few months ago. Had the time aged him as much as it had her? She took a sip of the too hot, slightly burnt tasting coffee. "Maybe I want something different."

"No, you don't."

Darlene appeared again, pad of paper clutched in her nicotine stained fingers. "What'll be, cuties?"

Tessa shut her menu and ordered what she always did, giving Scott a not so gentle kick under the table as she did so. He grinned and kicked her back.

*

Her front yard was a mess of fallen leaves. She was about as excited by yardwork as she was by housework. Which is to say, not at all. Her brother had promised to come over and rake but then called with a variety of excuses, all of which she thought were total bull. When she had told Ryan about it, he promised that if he could make it out before she went away, he'd help her out. The last she heard, something had come up with the guys and he was in Montreal.

They were still sitting in his truck, idling in the driveway. "I'm going to go home," he said, fiddling with the heat controls. "and I'm going to get changed and then I'm coming back here and cleaning up your yard."

"You don't have to." 

"You're an embarrassment to the neighbourhood, T. An eyesore."

She relented and hopped out of the truck. Her feet hurt, she realized, as she stood in her driveway after watching him drive away and she hobbled into the house. Her shoes joined the impressive pile of other shoes that made her feet hurt.

Jeans and a sweater were in order, she figured and as she changed, she plotted Scott's progress home on her mental map. He'd be just arriving there now, if he hadn't hit all the red lights. In the bathroom, as she washed her makeup off, she imagined him changing. Maybe he'd stop to grab a glass of water but if not, as she headed back downstairs, he should be grabbing his keys and heading back out the door.

She sat down on the sofa and pulled her knees up to her chin. She pictured his truck, driving down the streets between his house and hers. In her mind, he made the last turn and a moment later, he was back in her driveway. She waved at him through the window and he waved a pair of gloves he'd pulled from his pocket back at her.

He was headfirst into her shed when she shuffled up behind him. "I think the rakes are propped up along the side." she said, startling him. He lifted his head, hitting the side of the door. It took a bit more muffled cursing and laughter before he had a rake in his hand. 

She tried to help, following him around with a garbage bag but he declared her hopeless and sent her back inside. "Go bake me a pie or something." he said. "I hear you've become quite the culinary master lately."

It was an exaggeration, of course but she had tried her hand at making more than scrambled eggs. In her kitchen, with music cranked, she puttered around, throwing ingredients for an apple crumble onto the counter and watched through the window as Scott kicked over the garbage can and then pointed a finger accusingly at it.

Logically she knew that it wasn't possible to miss something that she'd never really had but through a thin veil of tears over the metal bowl, she conceded that she had missed this very much.

*

"I was only kidding." he said, his eyes wide as he surveyed the kitchen. A pile of apple peel adorned the table and Tessa was pretty sure she had a smear of flour and cinnamon on her face.

She shrugged as she finished pouring the topping onto the apples. "The apples were going to go bad anyway, what with us going away soon..." She opened the oven door and put the dish inside. "Besides, how else would I tempt you into staying for dinner?"

Scott's mouth twitched and she could only guess at what response he had bit back. "Is that all we're having for dinner?"

"Maybe." she said, stepping forward and closing the gap between them. He reached toward her, almost instinctively and brushed his fingers across her cheek. She closed her eyes and exhaled shakily.

"You had a bit of flour there." His voice was quiet. She wanted to cry again.

"Thanks." she whispered, managing to swallow her tears.

*

Toronto was electing a new mayor and Scott had turned her TV on to keep up with the results. She tried not to notice how he seemed to belong in her living room. Sofa, chair, Scott, lamp, photo with Scott. Ryan hated that photo. After a heated rendezvous one night, she had come down the next morning and found it face down on the shelf.

She'd put a can soup on the stove to heat up, deciding that dessert wouldn't make an appropriate dinner. Gone were the days of intensive training but her dedication to at least somewhat proper nutrition would last.

They ate in the living room and when he finished his soup, Scott bounded off into the kitchen. She heard his bowl clank in the sink and the freezer door being opened. "This is hilarious." he yelled and then appeared in the living room again, a container of ice cream in his hands. It was one of the ones she had picked up the other day, it bore her face on the label.

Two small dishes of crisp and ice cream were served up and they ate in the kitchen. "You were holding out on me, Tess." Scott said, between his last bites of dessert. "All those years, you said you couldn't cook."

"It was an untapped talent." she replied. She just had to go through several lonely, bitter months to tap into it.

The television was still on in the other room but she had ceased listening to it. She focused instead on Scott's steady breathing. He lifted a hand to his mouth, aiming to gnaw on his fingernails as he often did when he was unsure of what else to do. She grabbed his hand before he could get a finger between his teeth.

His breathing, she noticed, increased as she gently ran her finger up his palm and onto his wrist. She could feel his pulse, matching his breathing. Her own pulse hammered in her ears. "Tessa..." 

Her eyes stung with tears again, remembering the last time they had found themselves in a similar position. Back when the wound from Sochi was still fresh and Scott had talked about curling an awful lot. She noticed he didn't talk about it at all now.

"Tessa..." he said again and gently moved her hand from his wrist.

*

The thing was that she didn't know what she wanted. Once upon a time, she thought she had. She needed time apart from Scott, to grow and find out who she was without him and skating. She had reconnected with Ryan, after she had left him with a promise a couple of years back that when she had more time...

It wasn't the same as it had been before. His life was fast cars and fast living. The sex was great but she woke up feeling empty. She had known where Scott was and what he was doing and they drifted together occasionally for an event and she knew that things must be getting pretty serious with the curler because he was in Manitoba a lot more than any sane person should be.

But now, he held her hand cupped in his. His finger traced the line of her palm and it made Tessa think of a palm reader. If only someone could just look at her hand and tell her all the answers in life. She blinked furiously, willing herself not to cry. It didn't work, of course and she felt a rush of hot tears run down her cheeks. She hated herself when she cried.

His hand continued to hold hers and then damn it all, his other hand brushed her cheek. "Don't cry, Tess." Fingers soft on her cheek made their way down her neck and she leaned into his touch.

When he pulled her into him and enveloped her in a crushing hug, she let out a half sob, half laugh and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

*

They sat in her kitchen, at the small wooden table until the clock on the wall became blurry and she felt like if she closed her eyes, she might fall asleep right there. Scott sent her upstairs with a soft kiss on the forehead and she murmured something about not sleeping much the night before. She lay in bed, waiting to hear the sound of his truck leaving but she fell asleep before she did.

In the morning, she rolled over and looked at the clock. It was just after ten. Tomorrow, she thought, she had to get up early for the flight, so it was a good thing she'd gotten to sleep in today. In the bathroom, she pulled her hair up into a messy bun and looked at her reflection. She was too young for wrinkles but she figured that skating had aged her.

At the top of the stairs she paused. Had they really left the tv on last night? She shook her head and continued on down. In the living room, expecting to find a tv still tuned to the news station Scott had on last night, she instead found Scott. Feet up on the sofa, and intently focused on SportsCentre. 

"Hi." she said, staring dumbly at him.

"Hi," he said and muted the tv. "I hope you don't mind but I decided to stay here."

She stood at the other end of the sofa and tapped his legs. He obligingly lifted them and she sat down. A moment later, his legs were across her lap. "Where did you sleep?"

"Here." He gestured at the sofa. 

"I have a spare bedroom."

He shrugged. "This seemed fine."

The volume on the tv was turned back up and Tessa stared at the legs across her lap.

*

Her neighbours weren't busybodies but she knew that they knew who she was. She knew they probably noticed when Ryan came to visit and she knew they probably noticed the truck that had been parked in her driveway since last night. 

"Tell me what you want."

They were still on the sofa, the tv long ago silenced again. Scott was looking at her, expecting an answer. 

"Well, I would kill for a turkey sandwich." she replied. Her chest felt tight and she thought she might throw up. 

"Tessa."

She bit her lip and then went with the next thing that came to mind. "You. I want you."

*

His fingers were trembling as he undid the buttons on her penguin adorned pajama top. "These are very silly." he said, tracing the outline of a penguin, brushing her breast through the material.

"You should feel special," she replied. "I only wear these to seduce the luckiest of men."

He snorted and pushed her top off her shoulders, pressing his mouth to her bare skin. He kissed her shoulder and then slowly made his way down to her breasts. Tessa closed her eyes and tangled her fingers in his hair.


End file.
